"When we deny the story it owns us...when we own the story we can write a brave new ending."
I know that no one goes into a marriage thinking they will get divorced, but I really did not want to ever be divorced. I had promised myself after going through my parent's divorce when I was 6, and then being part of a stepfamily that ended in a second divorce when I was 15, that I would never let this happen to me as an adult. However, after16 years of marriage and two beautiful children I learned that my husband was gay. A puzzle piece went into place that life-altering night and I knew deep down that the only choice was to end the marriage. Over time I have accepted that while divorce is part of my life story, I can choose to write my story from a place of resilience and strength, and not of failure and shame.
While initially I felt a sense of clarity when I learned why I was so unhappy, I found myself completely overwhelmed as I started to grasp the emotional and financial realities of divorce. I had to make difficult decisions quickly and did so with the support of friends and family. I was in survival mode for a long time and the stress definitely took a toll on me emotionally and physically. And now over six years later, my former husband and I get along well and continue to put our children first and support each other as we create our new modern family.